Salovey Youth: Rename Woolsey Hall

The honorable elder Peter Salovey will soon have his name immortalized in one of Yale's most iconic landmarks. Members of the Salovey Youth petitioned the Yale corporation to vote on a name change some time last week, announced Ben Kisaz, the president of the SY.

The now renamed Saloveygrad will be host to a grand ball celebrating the new name. The entire undergraduate class is expected to be present at the ceremony. Hon. elder Salovey will be the keynote speaker of the event which is expected to be attended by former European heads of state, prominent members of the financial community and members of the British royal family.

His excellency, Father of all Students, President for Life Doctor Richard Levin, Lord of all Elders and Conqueror of the Residential Colleges and Saybrook in Particular is also expected to attend the event. It is not yet clear whether his excellency, Father of all Students, President for Life Doctor Richard Levin, Lord of all Elders and Conqueror of the Residential Colleges and Saybrook in Particular will give a speech at the event.

Students on campus are welcoming the name change. Gabriel Zukup, a senior in Timothy Dwight, said "This is probably the best news I've heard in a long time. I myself have thought that renaming a building in honor of honorable elder Salovey would be a good move to promote community cohesiveness and adhesion to tradition." He concluded "The most important issue now would be selecting a gift appropriate for the occasion."

The university has not yet made public the exact date of the ceremony. Many expect that it will take place on the first anniversary of the new regime. Ben Kisaz did mention that a loud bell will ring to inform the attendants when it is appropriate to stop clapping. "In previous occasions, clapping sessions have proceeded for far too much time and the person who stopped clapping first was seen in a bad light." Mr. Kisaz added.

Students have mentioned that no one wants to be the first one to stop clapping because they could be seen as unyalie in front of the community.

In a non-related event, a student who was the first to stop clapping in a previous ceremony was beaten to a bloody pulp by unidentified assailants not affiliated with Yale.

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